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If you love me, let me know
I don't mean to beg
But please don't let me go

If you don't want me, tell me now
I'll be able to handle it
Even if I don't know how

If you don't want to see me, give it to me straight
I'll walk out of your life
But I'll never forget your face

If you want my friendship, don't be afraid to ask
I'm willing to move forward
The rest is in the past

Just let me know what it is you want
And I'll be happy to do so
To me your happiness means so much
I'm willing to let you go
I know you'll probably never read this, but I hope with all my heart that you find the girl worth staying with. I just want you to be happy.
And now I'm crying. Shit.
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:iconashesandwings:
AshesAndWings Featured By Owner Feb 5, 2015  Student General Artist
Awww... SOOO reminds me of what happened to me two years ago... And that hurt so much, I cried for more nights than I care to even try to count..
Reply
:iconmagicaljoey:
MagicalJoey Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2012   Writer
I will be critiquing this piece on behalf of
:icongrammarnazicritiques:

Firstly, although it is a bit obvious and gives away what the poem is about, I do really like your title.

Now, the crit:
:bulletred: ST = Stanza
:bulletred: L = Line

Here you are tackling a rather cliché theme of letting go of someone who doesn't love you back (or once did but doesn't anymore). Things such as 'I'll never forget your face' and 'I'm willing to move forward' become cliché and overused and should be avoided.

That said, this is a very emotional piece and you have handled that extremely well. While I do feel that it is cliché, the emotions are well and truly yours portrayed in the manner you meant them to be.

You also rhyme, and your rhyme is good in this piece. It has great rhythm to it and you have handled the meter well as well.

The only thing I see that is lacking is punctuation. A line break doesn't indicate a pause, comma or period, in fact it indicates the opposite, that the line should be read on as if there is no pause. Consider:
I saw the sheep
but he didn't see

vs

I saw the sheep but he didn't see

Both are read in the same manner.
I would like to see some commas and periods within this piece, as it will also aid the rhythm you have created with your fantastic rhyme.

Overall:
:star::star::star::star-half::star-empty:
Jo
Reply
:icondarkxprincess143:
Darkxprincess143 Featured By Owner Aug 7, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I'm crying!! T.T it's so beautiful!!
Reply
:iconsevereweather:
SevereWeather Featured By Owner Aug 7, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you. I'm sorry it made you cry :/
Reply
:icondarkxprincess143:
Darkxprincess143 Featured By Owner Aug 8, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Don't apologize I cried because it was amazing and it really touched my heart ^.^"
Reply
:iconmebutrealized:
MebutREAlizeD Featured By Owner Aug 4, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
aww :/
Reply
:iconsevereweather:
SevereWeather Featured By Owner Aug 4, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Yeah..
Reply
:iconamiprodigy:
AmIProdigy Featured By Owner Aug 1, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I actually feel the same way about a guy...
Reply
:iconsevereweather:
SevereWeather Featured By Owner Aug 1, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I'm sorry you know what this feels like too. Nobody should have to feel this way.
Reply
:iconamiprodigy:
AmIProdigy Featured By Owner Aug 5, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
yeah it can be pretty hard
Reply
:iconamiprodigy:
AmIProdigy Featured By Owner Aug 1, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
wow, these words are very obviously from your heart. this is amazing. it is incredibly hard to find poetry of this quality that is heartfelt.
Reply
:iconsevereweather:
SevereWeather Featured By Owner Aug 1, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you
Reply
:iconamiprodigy:
AmIProdigy Featured By Owner Aug 5, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
no problem
Reply
:iconcopperfrost:
Copperfrost Featured By Owner Aug 1, 2012  Student General Artist
:hug:
Reply
:iconsevereweather:
SevereWeather Featured By Owner Aug 1, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
:)
Reply
:iconcopperfrost:
Copperfrost Featured By Owner Aug 9, 2012  Student General Artist
:3
Reply
:iconroxas-35:
Roxas-35 Featured By Owner Aug 1, 2012
D: I know those feels. but, and I'm sure you've heard this, you'll forget about whoever it is. I know I did...even though seeing him in the hallways of school is always hard...but at least you didn't lose all your friends because of a boy like I did...
I hope you're okay, and don't do anything stupid! I'm sure that person is an idiot and is missing out on all of the awesomeness that is you. ^-^
Reply
:iconsevereweather:
SevereWeather Featured By Owner Aug 1, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
That made me smile :) thank you
Reply
:iconem-silverflake:
Em-Silverflake Featured By Owner Aug 1, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I was like this once...
But, to my amaze... that very same boy who I just wanted to be happy, and who I was so ready to let go if that's what he needed, slowly started noticing how much I cared about him... (even more than the girl he thought he couldn't let go)...
And now, he doesn't stop telling me that he's happiest with me :heart:

... Don't lose hope :hug:
Reply
:iconsevereweather:
SevereWeather Featured By Owner Aug 1, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Well, that's actually already happened once, then I lost him again. Maybe he'll come back again, maybe he won't.
Reply
:iconmro-sen:
Mro-sen Featured By Owner Aug 1, 2012  Hobbyist
I'm so sorry, but I'm glad that you were able to create this out of what happening in your life right now.
Reply
:iconsevereweather:
SevereWeather Featured By Owner Aug 1, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you.
Reply
:iconmc123mp:
mc123mp Featured By Owner Aug 1, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Wow, I just wrote something similar... I have these exact thoughts in my minds...
Reply
:iconsevereweather:
SevereWeather Featured By Owner Aug 1, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I'm sorry you know what this feels like
Reply
:iconruiniert:
Ruiniert Featured By Owner Aug 1, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Love it!
Reply
:iconsevereweather:
SevereWeather Featured By Owner Aug 1, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks
Reply
:iconserenity-15:
serenity-15 Featured By Owner Aug 1, 2012
Very nicely put!
Reply
:iconsevereweather:
SevereWeather Featured By Owner Aug 1, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks
Reply
:iconomittedforclarity:
OmittedForClarity Featured By Owner Aug 1, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Well, this is pretty much the story of my life right now. I wish they spoke the same language as us, I really do, because it seems very difficult for them to just say what they want- and meanwhile we're left running through the thousand and one things we could do in an attempt to make them happy... I do love this piece, though, because of its painful truth.
Reply
:iconsevereweather:
SevereWeather Featured By Owner Aug 1, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you
Reply
:icondragongirl02:
dragongirl02 Featured By Owner Aug 1, 2012
awww this is soo heart touching i love but yet also heart breaking it also reminds me of a song
by gabrielle which is called if you love me
Reply
:iconsevereweather:
SevereWeather Featured By Owner Aug 1, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks
Reply
:icondragongirl02:
dragongirl02 Featured By Owner Aug 1, 2012
welcomee
Reply
:iconamiprodigy:
AmIProdigy Featured By Owner Aug 1, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
manga and anime have rules... MMost of them are "the rules of cute" as me and my friends call them....
Reply
:icondragongirl02:
dragongirl02 Featured By Owner Aug 2, 2012
what ohh my little status thingy well yeahh truee but could they have at leasst a few bad looking characters then when a villian comes up i wont start liking them instead of being on thier side i know its confusing but i dont know why
Reply
:iconamiprodigy:
AmIProdigy Featured By Owner Aug 5, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
haha good point!
Reply
:icondragongirl02:
dragongirl02 Featured By Owner Aug 5, 2012
yush for once !!
Reply
:iconamiprodigy:
AmIProdigy Featured By Owner Aug 6, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
lol
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconmady096:
mady096 Featured By Owner Aug 1, 2012
I completely understand how you're feeling, I too am experiencing the same hardship. The best thing is to move on
Reply
:iconamiprodigy:
AmIProdigy Featured By Owner Aug 1, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I don't know if it's always best to move on... Sometimes he may notice you...
Reply
:iconmady096:
mady096 Featured By Owner Aug 1, 2012
I'd rather move on to get away from the disapointment. Yes he might notice you, but in some cases, it would be too late
Reply
:iconamiprodigy:
AmIProdigy Featured By Owner Aug 5, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
true
Reply
:iconsevereweather:
SevereWeather Featured By Owner Aug 1, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Trying to..
Reply
:iconninjafoxsbuddy:
NinjaFoxsBuddy Featured By Owner Aug 1, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I have a friend kind of like this :/ he stresses me out
Reply
:iconsevereweather:
SevereWeather Featured By Owner Aug 1, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I'm sorry :/
Reply
:iconninjafoxsbuddy:
NinjaFoxsBuddy Featured By Owner Aug 1, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Ah, don't be- it's better now that I don't see him almost everyday :)
Reply
:iconwrite-then-think:
Write-Then-Think Featured By Owner Aug 1, 2012  Student Writer
I've gone through but it makes you tougher. Keep your head up and love will find you, I promise. :)
Reply
:iconsevereweather:
SevereWeather Featured By Owner Aug 1, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I hope so.. thanks
Reply
:iconwrite-then-think:
Write-Then-Think Featured By Owner Aug 1, 2012  Student Writer
It will.
Reply
:iconallsolit:
ALLsoLiT Featured By Owner Aug 1, 2012  Professional Writer
i really like this one.... touching
Reply
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