This actually seems really sad, I'm not sure if subconsciously maybe you put some words in here that generate a somber feeling?
breath goes, suspenseful, put down, repeat for hours, hit the floor
It's interesting, though. As if happiness is here defined as something that temporarily interferes with sadness and mortal dread. It could be pretty deep if you ran with that a little more.
Again, not sure if that's subconscious.
All in all, I would say your opening is the richest part of this poem:
"When you take my hand, my breath goes with it"
Kind of clever; it's been used before, but doesn't seem to be too overdone.
Some other lines seem to run on a bit long, and complicate the flow. I can't recommend strongly enough sticking to a more consistent meter, otherwise longer lines will seem like a real mouthful and make it hard to read aloud.
This line in particular:
"You keep me wanting to turn the pages to watch the story unfold."
If you've stretched it really far like the previous line, the next should probably come shorter.
Also situations like this:
"The surprises seem infinite. With each detail I learn, I become even more thankful that you came into my life."
The last line runs on quite long and keeps the reader from getting into the flow of the poem; I would shift some words up to the central line to make it the longest.
Free verse is the easiest kind of poetry to write, and IMO the absolute hardest kind of poetry to write well. Most writers get distracted by the words. Like not seeing the forest through the trees.
You might try writing in another language, or just in nonsense, so you let go of the meanings behind the words and can really feel the flow of the spoken word as you read it, and where the emphasis really falls as you move through the poem.
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